he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
