I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
