Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
