Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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