As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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