it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
