Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
