I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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