What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
