Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
