just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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