just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
