You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
