Can i not drive my cunt home
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize