You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
