From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
