if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i dont even know how to be here
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
