Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
