the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
