return my video game
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
