I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
