Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
