shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
