I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
