I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
