there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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