i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize