Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
