he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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