i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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