just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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