i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
