R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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