im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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