Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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