There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
