Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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