Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
