so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
