I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
