"it" just moved
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
