that's an acceptable place to lick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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