I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
