Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
