There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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