I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
