I'm lost and stupid without you.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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