I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
