so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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