their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I didn't shave. On purpose
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wear drunk well.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
