Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize