he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
