We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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