is this the sara with the beer cane?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
