Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
