Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
