The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
