If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
