i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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