some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
