could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize