I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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