I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize